As I lay in bed last night, not able to sleep, I cried a little. It was definitely not the first time I have cried (you can ask Pete) but its been awhile. Okay, maybe its a result of no sleep (due to a sick baby) or maybe I am just hormonal or just a woman, nevertheless, I was a little sad and lonely.
One of my 2009 resolutions was to be a better friend. I am not sure what that means, but I know I have had seasons of my life of precious friendships with women who knew me so well. Although those friendships still remain, distance now separates us and its harder to connect. Hence, some loneliness for girlfriends that know me well and love me still.
My years in Utah have been filled with much more loneliness for female friendships than I had hoped. Although I may pat myself on the back and say that I have made efforts with girlfriends, I obviously had some unknowing expectations that I placed on those poor women. And as with most human expectations, I was the one disappointed.
I digress, so back to my resolution. When thinking about what brings me joy in relationships, I feel loved when someone initiates. Who doesn't enjoy a phone call or an email to ask how you are doing, or a call from a friend that just wants to go grab coffee or invite you over, or a note in the mail that says you are thought of and loved?
So I, JENNY JONES, have resolved to INITIATE in my friendships WITHOUT expectations (which is the hard part).
Maybe its time to initiate with someone new, or someone from my past, or someone a lot younger than me, or even a lot older than me? I am not real sure where this road will take me but I am looking forward to the journey. And I will tape this quote to my bathroom mirror so that I will be reminded of what it means to be a friend:
"Friendship without self interest is one of the rare and beautiful things in life." - James Francis Byrnes
7 comments:
Jenny- such great thoughts. I am guilty way too often of expecting way too much of my friends. I love that you have boiled it down to initiating (something I struggle with). I will pray this year for sweet new friendships for you...and for richer existing friendships.
Thankful for you , your honesty, your wisdom and your friendship:)
love-a
I LOVE this post! I can totally relate since we recently moved. Friendship takes work! And, I have learned from your Mother that we need to be looking outside of our groups that we have...looking to see that new lady, or lonely girl. We can't get satisfied!
I, too, do so love your honesty and vulnerability. I sure do identify with your hesitancy to initiate. Often I talk myself out of making a phone call to a friend, telling myself that I'd be interrupting them or imposing or.... Just as a good marriage takes a whole lot of work, so does a healthy friendship. I guess I long for heaven, where relationships will be perfect! Anyway, I love you.
This struck a cord with me too. I have some wonderful friends that have stuck by me through thick and thin, but I often find excuses not to talk or communicate with them because I think I'm too busy. Then when something happens in my life (bad or good) I feel very lonely, but it is honestly my own doing. Thank you for giving me something to really reflect about and hopefully the courage to do something about it.
((HUGS)))
I feel like slitting my wrists now... =) Love you!
I am so blessed by you, your honesty and your reality of taking the first step towards friendships without expectations. It's so difficult but it so what God has called us to do as His Girlfriends! I'm praying for God to pour out His blessings of sweet friendships in your life in 2009. Personally, you are one of my sweetest heart friends ever! Love you........Mom
Here, here, Jenny! So well put. I think we all have a hard time of initiating without expectations...I am inspired...thanks for your wise words!
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